At my job I have this mindset that everything has to be perfect without failures and that I hope that my team and my superiors think only good about my work.
I often have the feeling that they will think that I’m not good enough, that my performance is bad, that somebody else will do the job 100 times better. Obviously this feeling I have as long as I have tasks I never did or where I’m not experienced in it.
It’s like everything in life, we fear the unknown. The insecurity pops up and I procrastinate or can’t sleep because I think my team will judge me and yes, a film with awful scenes is playing at this moment in my head.
Compared to my insecurity and fears, I have never experienced that somebody said something bad about my performance or my capabilities. So from where comes this feeling that I’m not good enough and that people will judge be. How to beat it?
Face your fears and insecurities and just do it. Don’t think about if someone will think anything? Because nobody will. All of us face own problems, own thoughts.
I’ve learned that it is easier to be vulnerable than to fight against me and drive me crazy with my thoughts. Good people and people who appreciate working with you will give you supportive feedback and help you. I always remember the moments were I asked for help, where I felt vulnerable and I learnt the most.
I want to be more spontaneous, simply to be who I am in the moment, present want I can’t be afraid what will happen, because failures form us, from failures we learn and make experiences.